Fire Drill

Virtual Position: MMMX (Mexico City), runway 05 Left

Actual Position: Pilot school house, simulator #11

Equipment: A320E (enhanced, sort of like version 6.0)

Density Altitude: 7,000 feet

Gross Weight: Max allowed

It is that time of year, again...

The sim instructor, whom I have known for years, is really proud of his new $48,000,000 toy. He keeps saying, "Dave, you're really gonna love this... Just tell me when you are ready."

I hate it when a sim instructor says that...

Gee, I wonder what is going to happen next? The visibility has magically reduced to only a couple of white runway stripes ahead and the aircraft is at max gross weight at a high altitude airport with high terrain in three of the four quadrants. Probably an engine failure.

I have flown with my co-pilot a few times out on the Line, but never in the simulator. He is a young, single, intelligent, George Clooney looking guy who spends a great deal of time on Facebook via his smart phone. He was Facebooking tonight in the simulator until the instructor told him to turn that [deleted] cell-phone off.

To me, that is unreal. Playing digital footsie with flight attendants would have been the last thing on my mind when I was a co-pilot in the simulator. I would have been worried about performing well enough to pass the simulator ride. Apparently, he is a heck of a lot smarter than I was at his age, or we really are living in the New Age of kinder and gentler training.

A few seconds later and we are rolling down the MMMX runway with AC/DC's Thunderstruck playing on my mental iPod, the almost perfect engine failure tune.

When I first checked out on the Electric Jet, training showed us a video of a suave and debonair French test pilot demonstrating engine failures in an actual aircraft. His co-pilot would pull an engine to idle thrust at lift-off speed and the test pilot would quickly and precisely accomplish all engine failure procedures without changing heading a single degree, displacing the yaw indicator one iota, or causing a single ripple in his coffee; all the while giving a running commentary about his aircraft.

The video was a thing of beauty... A jaw dropping demonstration of absolute mastery of an aircraft.

Admittedly, he made his living demonstrating Fi-Fi to potential customers. But still... You have to be a multi-engine pilot to really understand it. Just thinking about it makes me all misty- eyed.

Seeing that at the beginning of Fi-Fi training all those years ago has always given me a target to shoot for in simulator training, i.e., smooth and stable engine failure drills worthy of that French test pilot. Will I ever get there? Not going to happen, but 75% might be obtainable.

A few knots before the 150 knot rotation speed, I am ready to apply rudder to counteract the loss of thrust on one side, and then crank (actually, it is an electric switch) a lot of rudder trim into the mix while maintaining runway heading and a positive rate of climb.

When the co-pilot calls out "rotate", I ease the nose off the runway waiting for the tell-tale clues, via the rudder pedals, of which engine is going south. Unfortunately, no engine fails and I am caught unprepared for a normal take-off. I can hear the sim instructor quietly snickering behind me. My take-off is sloppy... I was prepared for trouble, but nothing happened. Fi-Fi responds to my nervousness by wallowing a bit, patiently waiting for the human pilot to make up his feeble mind. I respond by pulling the nose up to eighteen degrees and calling for landing gear UP.

Of course, as soon as the nose is eighteen degrees above the horizon, number two engine catches on fire. Jet engines are always burning inside, and on rare occasions, outside, too.

Actually, simulator engines seem to burn on the outside a lot...

The co-pilot calls out "Engine Fire!" The engine is still producing thrust, so instead of doing the fire drill, I will let the fiery engine's thrust help carry us to a safe altitude. No need to get in a hurry and make a stupid mistake; after all, there is no propeller to feather.

At 1,500 feet above the ground, it is time to do the fire drill:

1. Engine two thrust lever pulled back to the idle stop

2. Engine two fuel cut-off to OFF

3. Engine two FIRE button pushed (kills the hyds, fuel, electrics, bleeds, etc)

4. Engine two fire extinguisher discharged

Now, a thirty second count begins to see if the fire actually goes out. If not, there is one more fire extinguisher bottle for a second chance. In less than ten seconds, the fire is out.

The Electric Jet flies (fairly) well on one engine, as she is doing now. Her nav computers recognize that an engine has failed and has presented us with the published escape route, which is back to the VOR in a left turn and enter holding. I trim the rudder to help with the engine out condition and then turn the auto-pilot ON.

The co-pilot takes over as flying pilot and I begin the multiple checklists, read-and-do items, to get this wounded bird back on the ground. Naturally, the weather below us it at landing minimums, adding another vector to the simulator drill... Still a busy night ahead of us. And so it goes... Year after year.

Life on the Line continues... Virtually.